The power of grace, according to Jean Valjean

First, a disclaimer.  Although this post discusses details of the movie/musical Les Misérables, there really is nothing about the plot that cannot be found by reading any newspaper or internet review and only the very beginning of the movie is really discussed.  However, if you want to see nothing about the film until you have seen it, don’t read this!

Today I went to see the movie Les Misérables.  Oddly, although I’ve listened to the Broadway Soundtrack many times, and know the basic premise of the story, I really didn’t know or remember much about the details.  And so it was that, in the first few minutes of the film, I was amazed by one of the most powerful exhibitions of grace that I have ever seen in film.  After Jean Valjean has been paroled after serving a 19-year sentence for stealing a loaf of bread for his sister’s dying child, he is understandably bitter and angry, vowing never to forgive the injustice that has been done to him.  After stealing the silver from a convent, he is caught and the Bishop, instead of accusing him and sending him back to prison, tells the authorities to that he has given Valjean the silver and, in fact gives him more.  In a moment that I imagine to be much like Jesus talking to the woman caught in the act of adultery, he says, “Use this silver to make yourself an honest man.”  In the next scene, Valjean is sobbing in front of the altar, completely broken down and overwhelmed by this act of grace, which has given him an opportunity at a new start.  He dedicates his life to the service of God and others, vowing never to forget what has been done on his behalf.

There is so much to say just about that one little bit.  It is key to the rest of the film, another 2+ hours’ worth.  However, it is also key to my life, to my Lenten journey and to my relationship with God.  

In reading reviews and comments about the film, it seems this moment is glossed over as “heartwarming” or an “act of kindness” and somehow, to me, the fullness of its meaning is lost.  The deeper meaning, to me, is that this is exactly how it looks when God redeems us.  This is why the life and death and resurrection of Jesus have such power.  Jean Valjean could be considered a “small time” criminal, a “minor” sinner.  He was treated unjustly, wasn’t he?  He “only” stole a loaf of bread. And surely, because of his sorry circumstances, he could be justified for stealing the silver from the Bishop.  However, the law sees it differently.  He is no different from any other criminal.  He has committed a crime and he must pay the penalty.  But the penalty he has to pay, far beyond the hard labour of prison, is also a life of bitterness and hatred. 

Many of us have found ourselves in this same boat.  We don’t consider ourselves really “that bad” of sinners.  We’re generally honest, hard working and just trying to get along in life.  Meanwhile, we’ve been hurt, often by the Church and by those we love, perhaps our parents or our friends.  We feel justified in living lives underpinned by bitterness and perhaps even revenge.  We seek out churches and therapists who help us to see how we’re not to blame and that we don’t need to be caught up in all that negativity and guilt and shame. 

However, we’re missing out on a big piece of the puzzle if we stay there.  Jean Valjean almost missed it.  But, of course, if he had, Victor Hugo would not have had a story.  The story is that ALL of us, no matter how big or small our offenses, live in a world embittered by sin, by fear, by guilt, despair and revenge.  A literal reading of the Bible attributes this state of sin to Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.  Whether that story is literally true or whether it is a metaphor (or a parable or an allegory, I’m never sure which), it is clear that SOMEHOW, the wonderful and perfect Creation that God intended has gone horribly wrong.  It is still beautiful, to be sure, but horrible things happen, often to really good, nice people.  And, despite our best intentions, we often do horrible things to those we love. 

So, what happens when, in our bitterness and guilt, someone says, “I love you, wholly and completely.  You are beautiful just the way you are, because I MADE YOU THAT WAY.  And I forgive you for all of the wrong you have done, even the wrong that you’ve kept hidden way deep inside.  I see all that. I KNOW you. And you are mine. “  How do I respond to that? How do you respond to that? 

If I really, truly take that all in, the only way I can see to respond to that is the way Jean Valjean responded.  It is so overwhelming to realize that I have been saved from a life of bitterness and fear and regret that really, all I can do is cry and pray and throw myself at the mercy of God and commit my life to following that example of grace and forgiveness.

Of course, the rest of the story, as I’ve repeated over and over on this blog, is that God became one of us and is intimately familiar with every kind of suffering we’ve experienced.  Jesus took it all on and he overcame it.  And that’s why we can trust him when he invites us to lay it all down and follow him. 

There is more to say about this.  The notion of “Cheap Grace” comes to mind.  A discussion of the rest of Jean Valjean’s story and his struggle to stay true to his promise to God to act with integrity and kindness is well worth further exploration.  Those will have to wait for another night.  For now, I’m contemplating this powerful scene in the context of today’s churches.  It’s either “believe in Jesus or you’ll go to Hell because you’re a miserable worm” or “forget all that shame and guilt stuff, God made you good and so you’re good. Period.”  I think it’s neither and it’s both.  I am a miserable worm and destined for Hell.  Whether that is a Hell of my own making, in this life, or a place of eternal suffering in the hereafter is not really as relevant as that fact that without the kind of grace embedded in the life, death and resurrection of Christ I am doomed to hopelessness and despair.  On the other hand, I AM a precious Creation of God and I no longer have to feel guilt and shame for what I’ve done BECAUSE of that grace.  At one extreme, the Gospel is not really “Good News” and at the other, it is pretty much meaningless.

As I contemplate this awesome, powerful grace, I want to leave you with a line from one of the final songs in the film:  “To love another person is to see the face of God.”  May I love others in a way that shows my gratitude to God for this most amazing grace.

Amen. 

Living near the sea

I love being near the ocean.  I always have.  I grew up near the ocean, and have lived near the ocean for large chunks of my life.  For the past 11 years, I have lived in the land locked state of Montana and have rarely gotten to see the ocean.  I moved there for a relationship, and it was well worth it on that score!  I was told that in Montana, "the sky is the ocean."  Montana has some lovely skies, beautiful mountains and a lot of  beauty in general.  But since being in New Zealand, especially being near the coast, I have realised how much I have missed it.  It's good for my soul.  The vastness, the sounds, the power, the wildlife...it seems it's all just part of my DNA somehow.

So, this post will be devoted to photos of the ocean.  Yesterday, I set out specifically to spend the day at the beach.  I ended up going to Dunedin, where there are some great beaches...a little bit on the commercial side, although nothing the likes of Rehobeth, Delaware or Ocean City, Maryland.  What I found was plenty of sand, waves, seagulls, surfers, runners, dogs, and people just walking up and down the beach enjoying the beautiful autumn day.  I did some running myself, realising how much I miss running on the beach.  I like to imagine what's on the other side of the ocean.  In this case, I guess it would be the southern part of South America.

The rest of this post will mainly be a photo album, basically me indulging my love for the sea.  If my readers enjoy it, all the better!

The first set are taken at St. Claire Beach, Dunedin

Surfer

Waves

I love the juxtaposition of sandy beaches and rocky cliffs

Beautiful blue water

Self-portrait

Some sort of pretty purple flowers

Another self portrait (the day got warmer!)

Lots of people enjoying the beach

The end of the beach and a tide pool

A sea kayaker

Pretty spot for wedding photos

The next set are taken at Bluff, on the southern tip of the South Island.  It's not quite as far south as New Zealand goes, though.  That would be Stewart Island, about 35 km further south.

That big thing on the righthand side is picture of a Right Whale

Toward sunset

Part of a Maori legend about an anchor and a big fish

 Because it seems appropriate, I am going to end with the "Benedicite Aotearoa", a special version of the "Song of Creation" for New Zealand (NZPB page 63)

O give thanks to our God who is good:  whose love endures forever.
You sun and moon, you starts of the southern sky:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
Sunrise and sunset, night and day:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
All mountains and valleys, grassland and scree, glacier, avalanche, mist and snow:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
You kauri and pine, rata and kowhai, mosses and ferns:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
Dolphins and kawawai, sealion and crab, coral, anemone, pipi and shrimp:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
Rabbits and cattle, moths and dogs, kiwi and sparrow and tui and hawk:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
You Maori and Pakeha, women and men, all who inhabit the long white cloud:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
All you saints and martyrs of the South Pacific:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
All prophets and priests, all cleaners and clerks, professors, shop workers, typist and teachers, job-seekers, invalids, drivers and doctors:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
All sweepers and diplomats, writers and artists, grocers, carpenters, students and stock-agents, seafarers, farmers, bakers and mystics:  give to our God your thanks and praise.
All children and infants, all people who play:  give to our God your thanks and praise.

The beautiful city of Dunedin

I haven't had much time to write recently, due to being thrown right in to a busy practise and learning all about a different system. Last weekend I had occasion to spend a bit of time in the city of Dunedin so I thought I'd share a few of my pics.  Dunedin is the nearest "large" city, about 120,000 people and a University town.  It's about an hour's drive from Balclutha and it's got a big teaching hospital, so its where we send most of our patients who need specialty care or are too sick to manage here.  It's bigger than Billings, and closer, so I feel like we have quite a luxury in that regard.

Hogwartz

Dunedin has been compared to Edinburgh, Scotland, even dubbed "The Edinburgh of the South."  However, I spent a couple of months in Edinburgh many years ago, and Dunedin really does not remind me of Edinburgh at all.  I've checked with a few other people who know both cities, and they all agree.  It reminded me a BIT of San Francisco.  Big hills, beautiful architecture and the bay and the ocean make up the similarities.  Of course, it's smaller than San Fran.  And the architecture and general feel are different.

So, first off, I stayed in a Hostel called Hogwartz.  In retrospect, I suspect the name is meant to be a bit ironic, though I'm really not sure.  It's an old residence for the Catholic Bishop and I suppose it's meant to feel a bit like an old castle.  It didn't, though.  It was very nice and had a nice view of the city, being up on a hill. 

Side view of the church

Front view of church

View of Dunedin and the bay from up on the hill

Another view from up the hill

I got there Saturday evening and had time before dark to go down to the Octagon and check things out.  Apparently, I missed the big, annual "keg party" in which about 10-15,000 students (perhaps the entire student body) are out on the streets drinking and raising a ruckus.  Apparently they like to get up on rooftops and sometimes the roofs collapse.  I guess there were a few injuries, but nothing serious.  I'm grateful to have missed it! 

I took myself out to dinner and had a delicious piece of salmon.  For dessert I had this "chocolate cone"thing: 

A cone of pure dark chocolate mousse!

I also walked around and took pictures of some of the really pretty buildings. The famous railway station:

Showing how far it is to various places from the railway station

And a little information about the station

Then there was the Cadbury factory.  Apparently, Cadbury in New Zealand, and everywhere else in the world EXCEPT the US is committed to eliminating slavery from its supply chain.  Unfortunately, they sold their US operation to Hershey which is NOT showing much concern for the slave problem.  

I didn't get to take a tour, since it was late on a Saturday evening.  But...it's so close...so I will!

Then I went to visit the hospital and the med school.

Yes, they have the same problem here

Pretty mural!

Medical School building

And the "Monkey Bar" across the street

After all that, I put myself to bed to get ready for the 10 am service at the Anglican cathedral. 

Robert Burns sits in front of the cathedral forever

Beautiful prayer from the New Zealand Prayer Book

The service was fairly traditional, with a beautiful choir.  Since the Anglican church in Balclutha is so non-liturgical, it was nice to have some tradition in such a beautiful setting.  Of course, being a newcomer, it's always hard to experience one of the most important parts of going to church: the community.

The "community" part came after church, when I went to do what I had actually gone to Dunedin to do:  meet a friend from GCN called Rob.  Rob moved from the US to Australia about 20 years ago and lives in Sydney.  I met him at the conference in Denver in 2011 and when he found out I was moving to New Zealand, he decided to come over to visit and help ease my transition.  Unfortunately, I didn't pull out the camera once during the afternoon.  However, I found this photo on the internet which pretty much looks like what I saw:

Rob, Patrick (another friend from GCN) and I had lunch next to the ocean and I watched the weather change several times and surfers go in and out of the waves.  Patrick lives in Olympia, WA and I met him last year when we were there visiting Laura's aunt and uncle.  He is an anthropologist who wrote an excellent book called Thou Shalt Not Love: What Evangelicals Really Say to Gays. He used to teach in Dunedin and had brought a group of students back for an anthropological tour of New Zealand.  What a small world, eh?  After lunch, Patrick left and Rob and I stayed and talked awhile longer.  GCN is an amazing worldwide community of committed Christians who are either gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender themselves or who are allies of those who are.  One of the things Rob told me that I've been pondering (and may have to write about eventually) is that he was once told by a pastor that, in that pastor's experience, gay Christians are almost never "lukewarm."  We're either "all in" or we're not.  I think it's true...we've usually experienced a lot of rejection from the Church and in order to actually stick it out and stay, we have to do our homework and we have to be committed.  

After my afternoon chatting with Rob, I made my way home from Dunedin.  Happily, the next day, Monday, was the Otago Anniversary (see this article on Wikipedia for a wee bit of information) so I didn't have to get up early.  My little journey to Dunedin was quite exhausting!

Trip to the Catlins

On Saturday (the 17^th of March) I had my first official day off since starting my job (not counting my trip to Queenstown which was, officially, work and didn’t allow for much time to explore).  I had planned to take a trip to the coast and perhaps drive through the The Catlins.  I didn’t expect the weather to be absolutely perfect—unseasonably warm (for ANY season, here, apparently) at 24 degrees (75 F) and a cloudless sky.  So, I packed a lunch and some warm and waterproof clothing and prepared for an extensive exploration of the area. I took with me a couple of travel guides of the area and tried to make sense of endless list of recommended routes and stopping points.  In the end, it seemed simplest  just to follow The "Southern Scenic Route" out of Balclutha and see where it took me. 

As I drove, the landscape became more and more stunning as I wove through the green rolling hills, covered with trees and cows and sheep, back dropped, as they were, by a color of blue that I’ve rarely seen in skies.  I tried to take some photos but the road is fast and windy and whenever I’d see a particular photo-worthy view, it would be too dangerous to pull over and at the next pullout, the view would be obscured.  So with that whiny disclaimer (after all, with scenery like this, it was almost impossible to go wrong with the photos) I will proceed to describe what I saw and share some of the 300 ish photos that I did manage to take. (One LAST whiny disclaimer: the only camera I have is the 8 MP one on my Android phone.  It’s not bad but it’s not that good, either).

The Southern Scenic Route

For orientation purposes, this is a map of the route and the area:

For a key to the map, click here.  I started in Balclutha, just north of the number 25 on the map and went down as far as the number 6.

As I said, the day was perfect and just driving along the highway afforded breathtaking views of the countryside.

 Just before coming to the little town of Owaka, I stopped at a cemetery to catch a few shots of the dahlias.








Since I had already fortified myself with a large, late breakfast, I decided to motor on through Owaka and stop on the way back.  My ultimate goal was to get back up to Nugget Point by about 5:30 or 6 PM because 2 hours before dusk is supposed to be prime penguin-viewing time.  So on I went and just past Owaka I wound my way up a hill and, lo and behold, at the top was a pull-out .  I looked behind me and saw this:

It just kept getting better and better!  Along the way, there were dozens of places where one could turn off to go to various points of interests or hike along one of the many tracks into the forest, along the river, or out to the coast.  At that point I had to prioritise.  There were a few waterfalls that, by their description in the travel guides, I would not want to miss.  And, of course, there were the penguins.  So I made the relatively random decision to travel down as far as McLean falls, partly because the track to the Falls sounded so lovely and partly because there is a place there called “The Whistling Frog Café” which sounded like a nifty place to stop for lunch.  Having said that, I made one more stop at the Florence Hill Lookout, which was right there on a lefthand pullout, so I couldn’t resist.

The Lookout is between two peninsulas

There's a peninsula to the south

and a peninsula to the north

and cows in between!

It was an overlook just past the town of Papatowi.  I couldn’t take a photo of the sign leading into town (too dangerous) but it’s “tagline” said “Where forest meets sea.”  The view from Florence Hill Lookout exhibits that quite nicely.  In fact, there it is…thick groves of trees right up to the sandy beach.

With that, I got back in the car and continued the  beautiful, winding drive south to McLean Falls.  One of my guides says, “The 22 metre falls on the Tautuku River are often described as the most spectacular in the region.  The walk to the falls, though uphill, is not too steep and is very pleasant.”  I wasn’t disappointed!

The trail took me through a very “wet” forest (the temperature was several degrees cooler and I was surrounded by ferns).  

Ferns

A very odd tree growing every which way, sort of reminded me of the trip through the rainforest in Mexico

Sun shining through the trees

I saw bits and pieces of the falls at first,

and then I reached the top and saw this: 

After I returned from seeing McLean Falls, I headed back toward the main road and found The Whistling Frog.   

and had a scrumptious bowl of seafood chowder (with fish, shrimp, mussels, and a variety of other delights) and a “lucky” flat white.

The cafe was also filled with really funky artwork which was for sale (and so it seemed tacky to photograph it).

Having decided that this was as far as I was going to go, I took a moment to plan my trip back.  One of the “must sees” was Purakaunui  Falls but before stopping there I decided that Lake Wilkie sounded interesting.

While on that walk, I heard a variety of  very interesting and very unfamiliar bird songs.  I hope to convince my dad to come over sometime and help sort out what these birds are!  I couldn't see them as I’d left the binoculars in the car, this time. 

Lake Wilkie

On the way back up the road, I saw some of the coastline from a different perspective.

 and stopped to take some photos of the rocky cliffs plunging into the sea.

The beach at Paptowi

 I took a short detour to the beach at Papatowi
and then I made my way to Purakaunui Falls.

The guide calls this “a true icon of the Catlins”,and “one of New Zealand’s most photographed waterfalls.”  I took quite a few, myself, and picking just the right ones to include was not an easy task.

More ferns on the track to the falls

My next stop was Owaka, a cute little town with some beautiful gardens and a few odd quirks.  

  Someone apparently had a teapot collection that got out of hand.  It has now become Teapotland.

Coming from Montana, it’s fascinating to see roses and lilies in bloom this time of year.  Remember, it’s pretty much autumn, here, now.  It would be the equivalent of seeing these in bloom in September in the Northern Hemisphere.  Maybe some places, but not Montana!

Ok, so I know you’re anxious to see the penguins.  Unfortunately, due to the quality of my camera, this is a part of the trip you’re just going to have to trust me on.  Some of my family members will remember my trip to Malawi.  We took a river cruise and waaaay off in the distance were some elephants.  At that time, I didn’t have a decent camera either (I need to get a decent camera, don’t I?) and the running joke forever after was I would point to a tiny black dot in the bush and say, “Look, can’t you see? It’s an elephant! There are elephants!”  The fact is, there really were elephants, but you really couldn’t see them in the photo.  Same with the penguins.  They really are there, and I really saw them with the binoculars, but you really can’t see them in the photos.

After leaving Owaka, I followed the signs to Nugget Point, which took me to the “penguin hide.”

Penguin "hide"

 It was a short walk down to the “hide” which was full of tourists. One thing about brilliantly beautiful weekend days is they DO attract lots of tourists.  The problem is, penguins are quite shy and of course they must know they are being watched by dozens of people, even with the hide there!  Anyway, the tourists were looking at a pair of penguins in the grass up on the bank, which I got a good view of with the binoculars, then we saw another one waddle out of the water to join them.  There it is, see?  That tiny speck just up in front of the brownish blobs (which are rocks and seaweed).

 And there, in the grass, there is a grayish-white speck?  That’s the pair of penguins.  By this time the other one had found it’s way up the grass and it’s standing in the bottom right corner of the picture—a whitish blob just in front of the shrubby plants.  You’re just going to have to trust me on this one…or better yet, come see for yourself!

"The Nuggets" which, in the setting sun, look like nuggets of gold

Having achieved my one goal for the day, I made my way to the Lighthouse at Nugget Point.  Nugget Point is named for the “nuggets” of rock that sit out in the water.  Along the walk up to the end of the point, and the Lighthouse, there are steep, plunging cliffs off to the side and, with binoculars, I was able to see cormorants (which they calls “shags” here), fur seals and elephant seals.  Again, they were too far for the camera to pick up. However, I did photograph some quite excellent views.

A butterfly on a sign

Down below the track, around this little pool of water, there were some seals resting.  You might just be able to make out some dark blobs just on the edge of the water.

Seals, see?

Another view of the Nuggets

Incredible blue water

By this time, the sun was starting to set,

 and my phone/camera’s battery was about dead.  So I got back in the car and made one more stop at Kaka Point, which is a tiny beach town about 25 km outside of Balclutha.

Kaka Point

And with that, I turned my car back toward home and put my very tired body to bed!

I have many more photos, some good, some not so good.  And there are many more to be taken, preferably by someone with a really good camera and some photography skills.  However, this should give you a rough idea of the spectacular day I had in the Catlins and the stunning surroundings that are very close at hand to my new home.  I’m open for visitors!  Just let me know in advance so I can take time off work.